Sesehewan (part III) 🐇🐇🐇

 Hmmmmm, pertama tama.........nggak nyangka bakal nyampai part III 😂.

I guess i love animals a little bit too much, then.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i still love animals a little bit too much now.

There are a lot of things i want to share here since it's been a long time since i updated about my pets. As you can see on my previous entry, i had a mixed breed lionhead rabbit named Wawa. I had him as my company for almost 3 years, until i had to go for studying in other city.🙍

Wawa mampir vet gamau makan :( Waktu itu belum punya keranjang hewan :(

One year passed since i left home that my family told me that we lost our lovely Wawa😔😭. I got a whatsapp chat from my family saying that he was gone and can't be found anywhere. I received that message when i was studying in class, and that made me bothered, i can't focus on literally any lecture that day. I was sad, yet also.....mad. I blamed everyone for losing Wawa at home. I know i was overreacting too much but...... I raised him😢. I was the one who cleaned his poos, took him to vet, feed him, and most importantly befriended him😔. It's hard to bond with rabbit, because unlike cat who've been domesticated for a long time, rabbits are prey animals. They need more time and attention not to scare them too much so that we bonded fine. And we did. He was the sweetest rabbit i've had. He licked, kiss, flopped beside me, slept next to me, and.... he even woke me up when he wanted to play😭. I, who didn't think that bunny can be such a sweet animals, was moved when i was with him. So, losing him really hurts a lot😢. 

My family bought some other rabbits after that, maybe... to fill the house? I mean the atmosphere from having Wawa for almost 3 years, and then suddenly he's gone, it must've felt empty. There were two rabbits they bought (i said they, because... i don't know, i didn't really bonded with these rabbits, i only see them when i got back home once in every other month 😣). They are Wumbo and Walsu.🐇🐇

Wumbo is a rabbit my little brother bought from the same store i used to get Wawa. Wumbo was a rex breed, with broken brown and black color. She was an ugly duckling in the pet store, but Aan chose her for quite good reason. She was very energetic unlike any other rabbits there and her fur has a velvety touch to it and so he likes it a lot. 💓👶

Wumbo mirip menthog :( Telinganya lebih gede dari kepala ah :(

Walsu is also not a rabbit my family buy, but was given by another person close to our family. Walsu was a big rabbit, but i wasn't sure of what breed he was. I thought that maybe he was a flemish giant rabbit. Walsu had a very unique personality and kinda resembled Wawa at some aspects. He did a lot of flop beside hooman, and was very comfortable around human! It was....relieving. 😁💆

Walsu sebenarnya singkatan dari Wawa Palsu :""""

But they didn't....lived long in my house. My family lost them again while i was away studying in other city. And it turned out that Wumbo actually fell on to a deep hole somewhere in my backyard (now we closed the hole so that other rabbits won't end up the same)🌱. And Walsu...... we have no idea of what happened to him at all. We guessed that just like Wawa, someone took him when he was close to the fence (my fence had ground gap that fits the size of Wawa and Walsu, so it is possible for someone to take them away, we did look on the cctv footage of the front of my house📷📺, but can't really figure who took them).😫

When i got back home in late March 2020, i had no pets because since i lost Wawa i thought that maybe i was too careless to leave my pets at my home while I'm away studying in other city🙅. Even if there are my family at home but I kinda have this distrust feeling because I think that no one in my family will be a greater bunny-mom like i do👼. So, if i'm going to have a new pet, i need to either train my family to overthink about pet like i do, or i need to stay at home for a long time and coming back to study in other city just after i'm sure that my pet will be safe without having me around (that include sending bunny food and hay to my house🌿, building a perimeter around⛳ just so bunny won't go outside my house, reminding my family to feed and clean my pet,etc)😈. And there is also this feeling of concern, i was worried if i had a new bunny, they'll replace Wawa for me, and i don't want that😔. I know it's silly to think like that👶, because there are many stray animals out there, wishing for a home/family that'll treat them well. But i just can't bear to think that i would have to love another bunny besides Wawa😔. Maybe, i'm a very loyal person??? hehehehe~😌

But my uncle (not by blood, just a close person to my family) brought me 2 BUNNIES! just like that, suddenly, out of nowhere. He just gave us those and told us that these bunnies would be happy to live in my house (since i have quite spacious backyard for bunny running around, or......hopping around)🐇🏃

Memang luas kalo buat kelinci, tapi tamanku juga jadi... habis rumpotnya :<

They are new zealand breed, they have white fur and red eye (yes it's sharingan they are uchiha bunnies)👀. And most importantly.... THEY ARE CUTEEEEEEE😂💜. Their name are Wholi (female) and Whili (Male). 

Masih keciiiiiil 2-3 bulanan, gabisa dibedain sama sekaliii

Whili (male) has a brave and independent traits. He's often seen alone, just resting by himself, but he's the 2nd most calm and social in terms of interacting with hooman (The 1st place is for Wawa). Because of his lonely appearance, me and my brother calls him sadboi. 👨😓

Whili menemani aku kuliah dengan cara menjadi lucu

Wholi (female) has a sassy personality👄. She doesn't like being picked up like Whili does. She's also very greedy, she will only loves you when you have food around. All of my bunny responds to my calling, but Wholi i think, has the best ear (even if i only move the plastic food container for a little, she can hear it and come directly where I am🍓🍒🍐🍏). She loves grooming Whili (which is an act of compassion/love for rabbits) but Whili doesn't groom her. That's why nowadays I see Wholi hangs around more with other bunny (the alpha male you'll see after this) because that alpha male grooms and loves Wholi all the time! It's cute to see bunny love stories HAHAHAHAHA👰👰

Wholi yang hobi makan dan malas malasan. Dibeliin kalung biar beda sama Whili

After quite some time Whili and Wholi spent days living in my house, my dad's friend gave us another new bunny!!!!!! OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.🐇🐇🐇🐇

Never heve I expect to have this many bunny in one place. Now I'm kinda afraid that they'll mate and give us more baby bunny tho .____. 🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇

Anyway i'm still happy! Let me introduce them! Sepi and Monsterr!!!🐄👾

Sepi dan Monster waktu pertama kali dateng ukurannya 2x Wholi Whili !!!

Sepi 🐄 is a Rex Breed (Just like Wumbo). I gave her the name Sepi because her lashes and eyes are so big and pretty just like Cow's 👀💜💁 She has the best fur, hers is even more velvety than Wumbo's. She has quite shy personality. I guessed that she was kinda stressed when she first came, she only stayed on one spot and just sit there refusing to eat😔. Now she's good tho! She even mate with.....Monster and gave me such cute baby bunnies!!!!!!!!! I haven't named all of them, i'm too confused on how to differentiate them HAHAHAHAHA.🙉🙊

Sepi punya lipatan lemak di leher yang lucuuuuuuu sekaliiiii!!

Monster is the alpha male!👾 He is a Flemish Giant breed (and he is HUGE🐘). He weighs a little over than 3 kgs at the moment. But he has a bold personality, and not scared of hooman or anything. Even when stray cats came visit my house, the cat will be scared of Monster 😅😂 The cat's size is almost as the same as Monster's. HAHAHAHA. But with all of the cute things he has (his round head and flabby ear), he has a bad habit!👿 He sprays pee everywhere! I was sprayed at least 5 times till now. Rabbits spray pee because they are naturally territorial animal, and Monster does it to 'mark' Wholi and Sepi as 'his'. So that Whili won't have a chance to mate with them. Such a sadboi👦😓.

Pak Bos yang berkuasa atas seluruh rumah dan halaman

Besides all of my bunnies, there are some cats who like to pay us a visit! We named them of course, but these days i'm kinda annoyed by how they always poop in my back yard (I'm scared that my bunny will step on it!!! HHHHHH). They always come back to ask for food and they also ask us to pet them everytime. They even got into the house and went upstairs to my room. 

Habis pulang sholat isya ketemu kucing manjaaaa banget, suka dipukpuk, kita namain PokPok!

Ini Oyen, dia yang paling bandel dan suka masuk rumah buat minta elus :(

Hobby-ness.

I feel so bad this evening and i decided to write my thoughts and...voila i posted 3 entry in just one night.

Writing works! 

I'm really sorry but bear with me, okay?

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I unninstalled my instagram a week ago. 

The reason?

Jealousy.

Yup, i'm envious of everything that my friends can do and share it on their story.

I'm pretty scary,right? I wouldn't want to be my friend if i wasn't me.

As i said before, my quaraine life is so lifeless. I did the same thing all over again everyday, every week, for at least 4 months now. I know my friends feel the same thing at some point in this quarantine. Some of them are tweeting on how they're bored in their house, miss their 'real' communication with their close friend, and some even miss on the night shifts we hate before covid exist.

They're bored, 

I'm bored.

So aren't we the same? Why do i envy them?

Well, they may be bored but

THEY DID A LOT!!!!

Come on, i can't even count on how many of my friends opens new fnb selling acc. 

They're being super cool out there! (or since it's quarantine,should i say.... in there? wkwkkwk)

Baking,

Cooking,

Drawing and making their own comic,

Selling their product,

Gardening,

Investing, ( I don't know if i can consider this as a hobby tho )

Travelling, ( I also don't think that it's safe to travel these days )

and bunch of other stuffs.

It must be nice to be productive and get income from your hobby, right?

I remember once people say that u should work from ur passion/hobby instead of working to afford your hobby.

Well, i am not that envious and negative all of a sudden. I am grateful that they're doing what they love and be able to make something out of it. It's a pandemic, tho. We need to be grateful that someone is still making a living in this hard time. 

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I thought maybe.... let's do a hobby too? And.....hopefully make something out of it?

And then i caught myself staring at the wall thinking of what really is my hobby.

I always wrote in my 'bio' that my hobby is listening to music, reading, and browsing.

Now that i think about it.....

You can't really call that a hobby, can you?

It's more of a daily routine, rather than something special you do in your spare time.

(It's like one time when my high school friend answered my teacher question abt her hobby. She answered that her hobby is sleeping. And then my teacher slap her in the face with a statement that sleeping is something we need, not a hobby).

And then i began the search of my true hobby.

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The first thing i try?

Keyboard. 

I played keyboard (not the keyboard on your PC, more like the keyboard as a musical instruments) when i was in elementary school.

I remembered that my little brother has just got into kindergarten and there was a music subject. My parents somehow think that it's cool to have the music teacher come over and teach us how to play instruments. So to be clear, it was actually my little brother who started it first (music lesson), not me. 

My parents bought my brother a keyboard worth 2.000.000 at that time (Now i thought.. for that time, it's so expensive guys i'm so grateful of my parent hardwork so that their children can afford these things .____. ) My little brother started the lesson first, and i would peek from the living room. Hehehe.

I 've always been interested in piano. I liked Kevin Aprillio from Vierra wkwkwkwk. I always imagined that i'd be super cool, pretty, and graceful if i can play piano. And even if i was still a child, i've always imagined that i'd be 'close' to someone that can play me a piano/violin (i thought that it was bloody romantic).

My parents noticed me peeking and they told me to just go out and practice with my brother. I ended up doing that keyboard lesson for a year and a half. I memorized chords, i can read partiture, i can play simple songs. I remember my very first pop song i played was Terimakasih Cinta by Afgan wkwkwk.

But, that's it. I kinda have an on-off relationship with my keyboard ever since.

I can play now, but with the help of my teacher.

It's called youtube sensei.

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What's the next thing on my hobby list?

I really want to say that i love singing and i did explore my singing hobbies but....

To be real good at singing, you really need a gift from God i think.

I think most singers are born with anatomical features that you can't just developed easily. 

So......... scratching that off my list.

Wait, i did cook and bake a lot back then!

I can cook and bake too right now! I can sell my food too, right?

Well apparently it's not that easy.

For your food to taste good and sell-able you need to experiment with recipes right? You need to make a 'special' thing that only your food can do. Meaning that you'll probably spend a lot of money, time, and your stomach space to do so.

In normal circumstances, i would still give it a try. Cooking and baking is fun to me.It also brings me happiness when people taste my food and they say it tastes good.

The thing is......

I'm trying to lose weight.

Yup.

I'm in quarantine and do much less than what i used to do before quarantine. And i snack a lot when i'm bored. No wonder my weight scale reached the peak of seventy.....something 😩 (i can't say the exact number that's a top secret information right there).

I'm watching my calories now, i know it sounds dumb but it actually works. And i want to keep on seing that numbers on the scale drop😁! 

In short, no cooking for me this time!

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What else guys? come on, i'm running out of option!

Do i need to explore something i've never done before?

Something that's not too wild but unfamiliar and out of my comfort zone?

But what could that be?

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Just when i thought about another option, youtube recommended a video for me.

The title?

Chloe Ting.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Me? Exercising? at home?

Is exercise even a hobby???????????????????

I can't barely run in a field without worrying about my friend will go in the same time as me and see me struggling to finish a lap. Exercise is...... something i've been avoiding since.......high school perhaps.

I used to be super good at running tho. 

When i was in my junior high school, i was given a task to sprint 100m and run a lap (480m something). I was the 2nd fastest! (among the girls, of course).

I also played basketball when i was in elementary school. I really liked badminton since i was a kid,too!

Shortly, i was good. And then i became fat, so i stopped. 

(I stopped being good at it).

My parents are from army. They really like to push their kid to exercise in city field every weekend. Be it running, cycling, or even swimming, they just want us to move our lazy ass every weekend. And in their old age too, they still have the spirit to exercise and be good at it.

Well if i were that good, my parents are also good at it, and i'm trying to lose weight, it's worth to try....... isn't it?

And so i tried.

I did it.

I lasted a month. 

Lost some pounds.

I was so proud of myself.

But that weight loss story needs to be told in another entry, i guess.

At the time, exercise feels good!

I can't believe i'm saying that right now (Since now i'm back being a lazy ass and writing these useless stuff).

But also, i feel addicted.

That's when i think i should reconsider if exercise was a good choice to be my new hobby.

It was a holy month of ramadhan. When moslem fast from daylight to sunset, everyday, for a month.

And that holy month also when i was doing chloe ting challenge HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I don't know if u guys know this or not, but just one video of chloe thing can easily kill you man. (Especially for an untrained person like me).

And i pushed myself, i did 3-4 videos a day.

Every. day.

For 2 weeks.

And continue with random amount of exercise another week.

When i was free from tasks and waiting for my online lecture to start...I exercised.

I exercised so much and skipped meals (iftaar meals). 

There were so many red flags like my weight drops 4kgs in 1-2days, and also my late period. It doesn't take too long that my brain is doing it wrong.

I didn't think exercise as a new hobby, it became just.....and adiction with no more happiness while doing it. I keep thinking of how many more and more and more videos I can do every day. 

So i give myself a break.

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Okay, so what's next?

I can't believe that exercise turns out too wild for me, who's looking for a perfect ideal body. I still do it tho, just not to that extent.

Just then, i thought about dancing.

WHAAAAAAAAAAT? DANCING?

yes, dancing.

I didn't know if i should share it here or not but..... i took a very long time in the shower. And that's not because i'm singing. So....what is it?

I...play music out loud in the bathroom, and.....ah. I can't really talk about it. But considering that i'm talking about dancing then you should probably get the idea of what am i doing.

I started with small short covers of kpop songs that i like. It was very hard but actually i'm quite familiar with dancing to kpop.

I had filmed myself and my friends dancing to Gee and Sorry Sorry when i was in junior high school. And that was the most embarassing video of me, ever. But my past friend (AND ALSO EX BOYFRIEND) saw it. I just.....hhhhhh. 

Like all of my listed hobby above, i started by doing youtube and google search things. I searched for dancing tutorial that i can understand and i'm most comfortable with.

I followed the steps, and oh boy it takes 30 minutes for me to learn a 30 seconds move. But that's okay, i'm happy doing it.

From 30 seconds to 1 minute,

From 1 minute to a whole song,

From 1 song to....idk how many i learned now but let's list it out shall we?

-Itzy Wannabe (i stopped until the end of 1st chorus)

-Somi birthday (i also stopped at the end of 1st chorus)

-Mamamoo hip (ofcourse i also stopped at the end of 1st chorus)

-Red velvet Psycho (I stopped at the end of interlude.... i guess(?))

-Blackpink 16 shots (I finished it)

-Blackpink Ddu Ddu Ddu (also finished it)

-Blackpink HYLT (finished it, i really love em ffs)

And some more other than kpop songs i danced to.

And by that, i finally find one thing i really enjoy and i want to keep doing it for the rest of my life (perhaps). I'm so glad i got the guts to do it now, because this is a perfect circumstances. I had the time and my own private space to learn this new hobby (because i'm very shy, i lived with my brother and grandpa grandma when i'm at college so i don't really have privacy there).

But maybe even when the time and space isn't enough, I think i will still dance silently in my bedroom when this quarantine things end. Hehe, wish me luck! and... not be embarassed abt it HAHA!

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Well that sums up my exploration of my hobby up to this time.

It is no doubt that i still want to explore other kind of hobby, especially the ones that I can turn into income next time. 

I also still feel insecure of myself, comparing my activity and others and somehow still be sad about it.

But the journey of finding your path, doing something that makes you happy and forget about the insecurity for some time, that's the thing that i want to keep doing no matter what,

Until the time that i'm going to be so busy be happy with my own journey, i have no time to compare myself with you guys.

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Let's walk our path to ourselves together, even when we have different road or even finish line, okay?

I successfully did nothing.

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These days, it's been hard for everyone right? 😖

It's suddenly became scary and dangerous to go outside, even just to get groceries or receive food and goods delivery just outside the fence.💀

People stay at home and connect with each other through 'virtual' world. 

Quarantine has become a 'thing' now.🏡

It's no different with me, my coass life is transitioning online. (which is confusing and worrisome, but i'll tell you more about that later). I'm at my hometown , a far different town from my college. 

I think 4 months has passed when i wrote this. I'm home with.....not much to do, compared to my old daily routine as a coass in my college. There are of course online lesson, some tasks, and tests but the vibes just feel different, almost like... empty feelings kind of thing.😕

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I need help from you guys on how to get rid of this empty feeling so let me share my quarantine days with you and tell me if there's anything wrong.😶

My daily routines goes like:

waking up,😣

pray,👼

morning nap,💤

woke up rushing to open line and zoom,😱

online lecture,😶

taking care of my pet while there is spare time between lecture,🐇

not taking shower until the online thing finished,💆

pray,👳

brunch,🍛

do useless thing (tv, youtube, manga, anime, social media),😎

pray,👲

dinner,🍜

do tasks / do more of useless thing (depends on the task and the mood i'm in)💩

pray,👸

try to sleep,😩

waking up.😠

What's wrong in that?

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I just feel like i'm very unproductive you know. I'm seeing on social media where my friends cook, make stuffs, learn new things, even become a host/guest on online webinar session, writes, draws, etc.😞😞😞

And what did i achieve during quarantine???? 😨😨😨

nothing.😭😭😭

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Just kidding, i re read all 700++ chapters of naruto and watch shokugeki no souma.

Please tell me that's not nothing.😢

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Wait, what did you say?

It's not nothing but............definitely not something useful for me?😠

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Well okay, at least i didn't do nothing.😌

How did i end up here ? 😂😂😂

I remember that my very first blog was made for school assignment (nah lho, dari kecil sudah diajari melakukan sesuatu hanya untuk menggugurkan kewajiban 💆). 

It's not after some time that i decided to actually run a blog with real content, which i described as ----- what's supposedly to be a useful information (useful is a pretty strong word tho, i don't feel like that was useful after all 😷). 

I mean, my very first post in my old blog was about greek gods and their.... ability(?). Now that i think of it, maybe i wasn't really posting useful information at all, it just happened to be written when i was finishing percy jackson novels 🙊.

After a long time, I just can't keep up on running a blog with 'useful' content. I stopped posting for maybe 1-2 years? just to open my old blog again and trying my best not to cringe at it. 

Come on, i had those glittery sparkly cursor widget, guys. How can i not cringe???

I deleted every post and renew my blog after that 👋. 

Good bye............ 'useful' blog 😂😂😂.

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I posted a more 'me' type of entry in my current blog, which consist of funny stories, cooking stuff, also pet stuff, also my deep thoughts that i can't say out loud. 👀

I have a lot of thought in my mind and now that i put my mind in this blog.......

This blog is officially a mess😇. 

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But you know, i'm not complaining.🙆

Even when people say that you can't erase digital track of yourself on the internet ((which also means that these stupid thoughts are open to the world and i can't do nothing abt it)),

I feel safe here.😁

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Now this has become a place, I can pour my heart in.💜